You Are Still A Mother
When you are young, you expect every holiday to be one of mirth and gladness; however, the blissfulness of young age slowly changes into reality. The joy of some holidays is eclipsed by inexpressible sorrow. Mother’s Day is one. Some mothers grieve their children who passed on later in life; other mothers grieve their children who never saw the light of day. The latter’s names are rarely spoken, their grief often hidden, but this does not make their sorrow less weighty or lasting. For a clear picture of this grief, Jackie Gibson peels back the curtains of a mother’s heart in You Are Still A Mother.
Pastor Jonathan and Jackie Gibson lost their daughter Leila in the last few weeks of their pregnancy. With raw emotion, Jackie describes the moment when she felt no heart beat to the moments when she held her stillborn daughter in her arms. She recounts each moment as she walked to the labor and delivery room for cases as these, only a door away from where she had planned to give birth to a healthy baby girl. With a heavy sense of solemnity, she remarks, “Death and life are only doors apart.” As a father of two girls, I can barely comment on these opening chapters without the memories of the book moving me to tears. None of us expect the worse, do we? And yet, here it is.
In the remaining chapters, Jackie describes the following moments into the following years of her life. She describes the kindness of friends who removed all the baby clothes from the house in order to keep her from grieving more. She frankly describes her anger and wrestlings with God - why would God let this happen? Or the most deadly question: “What if….?” “What if I would have went to the hospital sooner? What if I had dieted different? What if I had exercised more? What if? What if? What if?” The internal grief of which she describes raises questions that we have asked in other areas of life, but particularly mothers in this area. Furthermore, she depicts the challenges of continuing normal life with the son which remained. Everyone passes by on the street like nothing happened, yet she grieves. How can life be so ordinary to them? She catalogues the promises of Scripture and the theological truths that helped her process her grief and remain steadfast under these trials.
One chapter of this short book came as an unexpected entry. Jackie spends some time unfolding how the Bible understands personhood. From a miscarriage early in pregnancy to a stillborn like her own, from an early loss in which you had not chosen a name to one whose room was prepared, you are still a mother. In this chapter, Jackie opens up about the emptiness of our abortion-laden culture. In doing so, Jackie displays the wonderful comfort found in the Gospel.
By the close of the book, Jackie illustrates how their family remembers the daughter they’ve lost and how this creates in their family a sincere longing for heaven.
This 84 page book is a balm to the soul, for Jackie expresses our grief and sends us to Him who bore our grief. In doing so, she provides for us the freedom to grieve. In any given church, this book will find a home. If this book is one you need, you can purchase it here.
