Gospel Shaped Marriage
When God wanted to give good gifts to man, God gave marriage. However, God did not necessarily leave a detailed roadmap for each couple. To complicate matters further, each marriage is comprised of two sinners. From those who are looking forward to marriage to those who have have been married for years, each scenario would benefit significantly from a biblical perspective. What is the “good gift” of marriage, what does a “good” marriage look like, and how does God make it “good”? These three questions are answered in turn by Chad and Emily van Dixhoorn. If I had to describe Gospel Shaped Marriage, I would describe the book as “biblically sound,” “practically oriented,” and “honestly illustrated.” Now, what do I mean?
Each chapter begins with an exposition of a particular passage relevant to the topic of marriage. Herein lies one of the key convictions of the Dixhoorn’s - godly marriages are built on godly wisdom. The subtitle of the book is Grace for Sinners to Love Like Saints. Where is the grace of Jesus Christ for sinners revealed? Where is our blueprint for living like saints? The answer is simple: the Bible. The Dixhoorn’s do not build a self-help book from their own personal experiences; instead, the Bible is central. In our day and age, we desperately need biblically sound marriages. Indeed, some texts are challenging in both their implementation and in their reception by our culture; however, the benefits outweigh the challenges. The Bible speaks with both boldness and authority into the most significant relationship of our lives.
Besides being “biblically sound,” Gospel Shaped Marriage is also “practically oriented.” Chad and Emily have a wonderful touch in acknowledging the challenges in marriages. In no way do they paint the picture of a “perfect life;” instead, they tackle the reality that a marriage is the union of two sinners. Instead of sugar coating difficulties, they provide practical principles to navigate rocky terrain. More than simply problems, Chad and Emily describe ways to promote a godly marriage. Of the many practices described, the most helpful is the idea of serving. A husband and wife can strengthen the gifts and graces of their spouse by finding ways to serve others through acts of hospitality. One can tell that they have mastered this craft, for they give many suggestions on how to maximize the gift of hospitality. Even if hospitality is not your forte, Chad and Emily force us to ask a simple question: how can I encourage my spouse in their spiritual gifts?
Lastly, this book is “honestly illustrated.” Chad and Emily (but mostly Chad) is open about their failures. As much as we draw strength from the perfection of Christ, we all have been encouraged by the failings of our forefathers in the faith. Their failings remind us of the forgiveness of Christ and the sanctification He provides. Likewise, Chad and Emily describe to us their trials that we may take hope. If marriages are to go up and divorces down, we need hope that there is “grace for sinners to love like saints.”
If you are considering marriage or have been married for some time, I highly recommend reading this book with your spouse. The appendix is helpful, and the study questions at the end provoke fruitful discussion. You can buy Gospel Shaped Marriage here.
