Facing Grief
I find myself often reminding others that the Bible is not grief-averse. In the age of social media, we have inherited a skewed view of Scripture that seems to gloss over the tragic episodes of sickness, of death, of loss, and of grief. The Bible becomes just a collection of stories which have a happy ending. But are they? Do they really end with the family gathered around the dinner table, whole and happy? If instead of the Bible, we were left with the social media account of the Bible’s biggest personalities, would Abraham have posted about the dismissal of Ishmael? Would Israel share of their 400-year vacation in Egypt? Would the Book of Lamentations or the Book of Job exist? Would we know of Peter’s moment of weakness? It would not be an exaggeration to say that the greatest promises of Scripture sprouted in a Valley of Weeping.
If the Bible contains such low points and such high promises, then why do we struggle in facing grief? Modern advancements have done well in protecting us from a slew of minor sorrows. Infant mortality rates are drastically lower, workplaces are vastly safer, and longevity increases by the generation. These advancements reduce the impact of Scripture’s sorrows and hinder our understanding of spiritual remedies. Hence, when we are faced with moments of extreme grief, our grief is inconsolable. And this is where John Flavel trains the Christian in words of comfort.
Facing Grief is written by a man who had lost children and was thus well acquainted with grief. In the preface, he writes of the lingering sorrow after the “double tie of nature and grace” has been broken. He writes that each line comes as “the after-fruits of my own troubles; things that I have not commended to you from another hand, but which I have, in some measure, proved and tasted in my own trials.” Flavel’s goal is twofold – to establish a clear boundary between sinful and permitted sorrow and to provide twenty points of comfort for those grieving the loss of a loved one.
An initial reading of the previous statement may cause some of us to bristle. “How can sorrow be sinful?” And yet, have we not all seen the case? When sorrows cause us to belittle smaller mercies, or when sorrows cause us to hate God? As Seneca says, “Sorrow itself has a certain kind of pleasure attending it,” yet this momentary pleasure only inflames an already grievous wound. The soul separated from God will never find lasting comfort, and Pastor Flavel guards us against that danger.
Alongside guarding our soul, Flavel aims at comforting the soul. This physician of the soul has at his disposal twenty remedies which are deeply theological and imminently practical. At the heart of his treatment is the simple fact – deep sorrows need deep truth. There must be a firm foundation upon which the mourner can find rest for his weary soul. He considers God’s sovereignty, God’s character God’s covenant, and more. Each of these can be used for those needing comfort or for those giving comfort.
Each of us will face times of grief, and each of us will be tasked with bringing comfort. The question is not when, but how? How will we bring comfort? How will we encourage? How will we face grief? In the coming weeks, we will be asking this question on Wednesday nights. Until then, let John Flavel be your guide. You can purchase Facing Grief here.
